Monday, February 6, 2012

Secrets Revealed

Everyone has secrets.  Today I have some confessions to make.
Years ago my grandfather had an a coworker "Harry" who would get drunk at work.  He showed up sober every morning but somehow during the day he would find access to alcohol.  No one could figure out where he was getting it.  Finally, my grandfather asked him where he hid his secret stash.  Harry leaned in real close and whispered, "Can you keep a secret?"
"Yes," Grandpa whispered back, leaning in closer. 
"Well, so can I," Harry responded.  Then he leaned back, crossed his arms and said no more.

Keeping a secret can be a heavy burden so I have decided to come clean and confess about my own secret stash:

Sometimes I buy peanut M & Ms and I do not share them with my family.

Even worse--it's premeditated.  That's right.  I plan my trip to the grocery store when no one is around.  Then I furtively sneak the brilliant gold bag into the house.  Note: Bright yellow is an unfortunate color choice to try to camouflage.

For a long time, I hid my secret stash in the flour canister on the kitchen counter.  Then, one day, I was discovered.  No one was really looking for flour.  It was a fluke.  I knew I had to be smarter.  So when I changed the location of my secret stash, I loaded up the flour canister with DumDum lollipops.  A decoy secret stash--what a clever move on my part.  Meanwhile, the peanut M & Ms were in a little-used cabinet full of serving pieces.  That is, until one day preparing for dinner guests when Jack was helping me set the table.  "We should use our fancy salad bowl," Jack said, reaching into the cabinet.

"Noooo!" was all I had time to say before he pulled it out and my rainbow colored candy showered all over the kitchen floor. 

Busted again.  Now you may think I am just confessing because I was caught.  That may be partly the case.  Here's my real confession:  I have no plans to reform.  In fact, I have an ingenious new idea for the perfect hiding place. 

Wanna know where it is?  Well, can you keep a secret?

So can I.

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