In my mind, today is supposed to be perfect. Perfect cloudless sky. Perfect temperature. Yesterday was the last day of school. Today is the first perfect day of summer.
Except the last two weeks have been such a busy whirlwind that I need to regroup. I just need to do a few things before I begin my perfect day. Like fold 6 loads of laundry. Like buy milk. Like walk the dog. I should probably straighten up a bit. The kids cleared out desks and lockers but now I can't walk in the front hall because it is piled with overstuffed notebooks, moldy lunchboxes, smelly gym clothes and sweatshirts.
So what if the morning is spent on chores and errands--the afternoon will be perfect.
Except that I can't seem to decide what to do. Should I sit on the patio and read? Head to the pool and take a swim? Ride my bike? Celebrate summer with a pedicure? Suddenly I feel very tired. I will just put my head down for a minute. Then I will decide.
Except a minute turns into an afternoon nap. I wake up feeling groggy. I look at the clock. And then I cry. Today was my perfect first day of summer. And I slept through it.
Silly, I know. But if you know me well, you know that I find comfort in lists and schedules. I like being organized and I have a hard time being spontaneous. A nap was not on my list of things to do today.
I dream of someday writing a book called Confessions of a Reformed Perfectionist. Problem is, I'd actually have to reform. In the meantime I recognize that my body was exhausted. There will be other days for the pool, the patio and the pedicure. Today I was just too tired to be perfect.