Sober Curious

The Sober Curious Movement

Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.” -Ozzy Ozbourne. 

When I first heard the term “sober curious,” I was confused. I mean, we all know what it feels like to be sober…what is there to be curious about?  In case you are not familiar with the expression, someone who is sober curious is choosing to abstain from alcohol for an undetermined amount of time. The idea has been gaining traction on social media and has recently been featured in several news stories such as NPR and The Washington Post. 

At first, I admit I was a tad bit judgey and I rolled my eyes a little.  I’m thinking, “If you don’t want to drink alcohol at a bar, order a soda water with lime and be done with it. Sheesh. You don’t need to post a picture of your drink on social media with a hashtag announcing this decision to the world.”  But after reading more, my thinking has shifted.

A Sense of Belonging

Wanna find out who your true friends are? Get sober.

In his hierarchy of needs, Maslow rates love and belonging right after food, water, and shelter. As humans, we need to feel a sense of deeper, more meaningful relationships. Identifying as sober curious is gaining traction because it fulfills our need of belonging. We may not realize how prevalent alcohol is in our social lives until we make a conscious decision to not to partake.  It’s easy to fit in when you drink. While we all have experience with sobriety, what might be harder to envision is a social life without alcohol. I have a friend who recently completed an amazing weight loss and fitness challenge. Later, she remarked that she was often lonely—choosing to avoid temptation and stay home when her friends were out eating and drinking. I’m not so fond of being stone cold sober in a bar full of drunk people either. I just don’t feel like I fit in. So, the challenge is to find other activities where alcohol isn’t the focus.  One function of #sobercurious is to provide a platform for like-minded people who share a common interest. 

Breaking the Stigma

Avoid using cigarettes, alcohol and drugs as alternatives to being an interesting person. -Marilyn vos Savant

Let’s face it. Sober people don’t have the best reputation. Society thinks sober people are boring. Even the dictionary definition of sober includes the terms restrained, serious, and sedate. Are you not drinking because you are a teetotaler, an alcoholic or a Sober Sally? Often people who choose not to drink pair the decision with some kind of excuse. 

Reasons I have used not to drink:

·         I’m not old enough.

·         I’m driving.

·         I can’t mix alcohol with my medication.

·         I don’t want the extra calories.

·         I don’t sleep well after a few drinks.

·         I’ve been drinking for the wrong reasons.

·         I’m pregnant.

·         I have too much to do tomorrow to feel sluggish or hungover in the morning.

·         I want to be a good role model for my kids.

·         I’m trying to save money.

The #sobercurious movement is a PR team coming in to revamp the image of sobriety. It is breaking the stigma that being sober is no fun. #sobercurious lets people choose not to drink without having to offer up some excuse.  Sometimes I love a glass of wine and sometimes I don’t. Lately I’ve been choosing not to have one more often. Do I have to have a reason why? Or justify my choice to explore the physical and mental effects of abstaining from alcohol? I hope not. Whether I’m holding a cocktail or a mocktail, I’m still me.

So, if you are ever interested in hanging out sober, text me. I’d love to be sober curious together. We can even post it on Instagram. #sobercurious #partofthemovement

Enjoying our mocktails

February-It's The New January

How's your New Year's Resolution coming along?

4 short weeks ago, we tooted horns and kissed at midnight welcoming 2012 as a fresh start and clean slate.  Did you make a resolution?  The topic seemed unavoidable-- magazine covers in the checkout line, online links forwarded by friends, and newspaper clippings all sharing articles about how to make and keep your resolution.  So, how's it going?  Do you even remember what the resolution was at this point?  Don't worry.  You are not alone.  According to a report by FranklinCovey, 77% of people surveyed do not successfully keep their resolutions. 

Don't be so hard on yourself.  Let's face it.  January 1 is not my ideal time to be making big changes.  I'm coming off a holiday sugar coma that affects my rational thinking.  The short days and frigid temperatures are more conducive to hibernating than productivity.  Knowing my self discipline was lacking, the only New Year's Resolution I could muster was to stop buying sweaters with 3/4 length sleeves.  Really, if it is cold enough to wear a sweater, wouldn't I want my wrists to be warm? 

Besides January being problematic, I don't like New Year's Resolutions because a year is just too gosh darn long for me to commit to anything!  I've got this brand new calendar with 366 (it's a leap year) days looming and that seems like an awfully long time.  In school the kids learn how to make SMART goals.  SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely.  Rather than a large year-long goal, I would rather set a small goal and give myself a month to work on it.   After all, current research reports that it takes 66 days to form a habit.  So if you can do something for 66 days, your brain's neurons will actually change their firing patterns.  Pretty cool, huh?  And we don't need a whole year to make it happen. 

Another reason I like to make new month's resolutions is that I'm human.  I set goals and then obstacles arise.  I have the best of intentions and then mistakes happen.  Reevaluating my progress and my goals monthly gives me 12 opportunities to start fresh and start over.  I'm feeling positive about my February goals.  But if I mess up, I'm not worried--another opportunity will come along soon.   In a just few short weeks March is the new January.

The Email Diet

Procrastination technique # 1: Check my email
Procrastination technique # 2: Check my email

Hey, if I find something that works, I stick with it.

When I wake up, checking my email is a prelude to starting the day.  Before my head hits the pillow at night, one last check.  Oh, and did I mention the several times in between?  Increasingly, I've become aware of what a giant waste of time this is. 

First of all, I'm just not that important.  We're not talking about emails from senators, people.  We're talking the Groupon deal of the day and a notice that my new contacts have shipped.  Also, the process of checking to make sure nothing is new is getting more complicated.  I've checked my work email, so as long as I'm here I'll take a quick peek at staff news and my home account.  Oh, better check Facebook too--real  quick, only take a minute.

In addition, at least one email will inevitably lead me off on a tangent.  I receive a list of the contents of my weekly vegetable delivery. Hmmm, beets?  Three websites and 20 minutes later, I've found a lovely recipe for a roasted beet and fennel salad.   The email says my library books are due soon...which reminds me to check the library website catalog to see if The Book Thief is available but it's checked out.  I try to put it on hold but I can't log in because I can't remember my pin number.  I thought I had it written down in this notebook but there are so many different usernames and passwords in here that I can't find it.  Maybe I should type these up and organize them....

I'm sorry, where was I?   I may admit my procrastination problem but my heightened awareness has done little to curb this addictive habit.  Now that I have a flexible schedule with work, my problem seems to be getting worse.  I have to be self disciplined about getting things done and I mean to start that project... right after I check my email.  Enough is enough.  I'm going on an email diet.  Starting right now I am going to limit my online activity to once per day for the next 3 weeks.  Honestly, my hands started shaking as I wrote that.  I think I feel a headache coming on. 

Be nice to me.  I've heard withdrawl is not pretty.

Independence Day

I can barely move.  Seriously.  Two days ago I did an exercise video and now I'm so stiff and sore that it hurts to get up.

Recently I decided to beef up my fitness regime.  I saw a picture in the newspaper of Michelle Obama doing push-ups with Archbishop Desmond Tutu.  Real push-ups--not the "girly" ones on the knees.  Looking at them made me wonder how many push-ups I could do.  The answer?

Zero. Not a one.  It hurt my wrist just getting into the starting plank position.

Now I'm 5'5'' and weigh 124 so you wouldn't call me fat.  And I do walk the dog about three miles every day.  But zero push-ups?  I used to equate fitness with a part of who I am.  I've done a marathon!  Triathlons! A 500 mile bike ride!  How did I fall so far that a 50 minute fitness video leaves me incapacitated?  I am only 40.  I'm too young to feel old.  (For the record, Tutu will be 80 this year and he's still doing push-ups!)

Chances are slim that Michelle Obama will ever challenge me to a push-up contest.  So why do I care if I'm feeling out of shape?  Mainly, for energy.  When I feel fit, I've got more of it.  And sanity.  Exercise improves my mood. 

Today is July 4th.  A National holiday seems a funny day for a new resolution.  Many people will be eating barbeque and drinking beer all day.  Well, I'm going to exercise and have a salad for lunch.  As America celebrates its independence as a Nation, I will celebrate my independence from lethargy, sluggishness and inactivity.  Michelle Obama, watch out!

Now, let's see if I can get up out of this chair.  Oof.